13 Ways of Looking at Election Anxiety

Simply the thing that I am shall make me live.

Fragonard helps.

So, sure, exercise or eat Starbursts or burn sandalwood candles.

But here are a few off-the-beaten-path ideas for cooling your nerves without repressing fears, acting out, or lying to yourself in a spiritual bypass.

(Sometimes candles feel like lies.)

Today and tomorrow, here are my recs:

1. Trust the vibes.

2. Remember that polls are just vibes in math’s clothing.

3. So that means everyone is trusting the vibes.

4. If your vibes are right, you’ll be smug. You’ll be happy you prepared for this and it’s not a shock. If you’re wrong, remind yourself that at every moment of your life, you always go with vibes, and sometimes you’re wrong. Maybe you thought Oppenheimer looked great, and then you saw it and it was boring. We live our whole life on vibes and sometimes we’re wrong. Being wrong is OK.

5. You will know what to do with the outcome no matter what it is. America has had great presidents and truly terrible ones. Celebrate in your own way if it’s good news. Weep or curl in on yourself or scream or binge or ask for help or sequester yourself. Give yourself at least two weeks to hate life.

6. Don’t look ahead too far. Answers will come.

7. Remind yourself that you’ve been through great periods and terrible ones and your intuition always kicks in.

8. We’ve had great presidents (FDR, Lincoln, Obama) and execrable ones (Andrew Johnson, Herbert Hoover, Donald Trump). The flag is still here.

9. Remember if we get bad news that you are a resident not just of the United States—but of your neighborhood, your city or town, your state, and the world. Concentrate on these other places where you live—locally and globally—and skip federal and national obsessions for awhile. New York City needs your help. Springfield, Ohio needs your help. Your block needs your help. As does Tanzania, Taiwan, Ukraine, and Gaza. Help your neighbors and help the globe and let the overhyped White House be.

10. Remember that you are a prism and have multiple aspects to you. Even whole, distinct personalities. One personality can be bereft, while another can be brave, a third can keep its equanimity, a fourth can cultivate irony and have fun, and a fifth can say fuck it and eat sandalwood candles.

11. Read novels and watch TV. Fiction saves.

12. After your two weeks of neural storm, if there’s bad news, yes—fresh air, sunlight, exercise, music, time with friends.

13. If and when Harris wins, take the win. Take it in. Celebrate. The weeping and wailing is over, and we’re turning the page.

Bonus: Three more people who know things who are feeling good today.

Jon Ralston, who has never called a Nevada vote wrong: “Harris will win Nevada.”

Ann Selzer, the oracle of Iowa: “Our consensus from the reporters who work this beat is that the abortion ban went into effect this past summer. It has gotten people interested in voting. Kamala Harris is picking up support from women to surpass Donald Trump.”

Rachel Bitecofer, oracle of DC: “Soon I’ll be sitting here basking in DC’s surprise that women didn’t ‘get over’ having the Republican Party claim ownership of our bodies.”

Jennifer Rubin: “Kamala Harris is the right candidate. It’s a minor miracle. It will be a case study for future political scientists.”

George Conway: “It’s a beautiful day, and I feel exceptionally happy, hopeful, and excited.”